Stage Fright
Almost everyone has stage fright. Here’s the cure
Stage fright is very rarely an easy fix, and can be very deep rooted. And we often try to avoid getting into situations where it’ll be tested, so it remains this boogieman at the edge of our consciousness. If you have stage fright and you really want to sing, or are using learning to sing to deal with stage fright (for example, you have some public speaking you can’t avoid), at some point you’re just going to have to bite the bullet. Once you accept that, however, help is at hand.
The first rule of thumb is to face challenges gently, so your learning curve is a gradual and comfortable one. Since no two singers are the same, the opportunities to sing in public can be many and varied. Karaoke is a good way to start if you don’t know any musicians or aren’t involved in a musical community. There are many good home karaoke systems out there, and it’s a great way to get started (more of that later). Joining a choir is also another great way to deal with stage fright. You can sing as loud as you want and the spotlight isn’t on you, while you’re also learning the basics, i.e. how to read music, control your breathing and the note, and hear harmony.
There’s a basic misconception re. public performance: that everyone else is more confident than us, judging and/or laughing at our performance. My own experience with students is that everyone, on some level or other, suffers from stage fright. And it often goes back to childhood, and can be simple or very convoluted. As simple as kids laughing in the classroom, to the fact that for example, it was always a big thing how “the whole family” was at singing, so whenever he/she sang they weren’t being one of the clan if they sang well. Or having fun or being expressive was frowned upon (“children should be seen and not heard”). The basic truth is that an audience wants to be entertained. They want to like you, and will be forgiving of the odd mistake. They want to be moved, to be transported and hear the story of the song. Conversely, the more afraid we are, the more embarrassed they will be for us. We want to be in that first category, but often end up in the second, like a deer in the headlights. So, what to do?
First of all, your stage fright matters more to you than it does to them. They’re worrying more about themselves, and this is a passing moment. They won’t be going home picking apart your performance, for example. They’ll only really care if you move them, and are usually sympathetic if you’re obviously nervous (and if they’re a tough, judgmental crowd, what are you doing there and why should you care what they think?). To move an audience, you have to be in the now, focused on your performance, not in their opinion of you. Which means, once again, training your mind over time not to focus on the bad things about your performance, but to stay in the moment, i.e. not to judge yourself, but to bring them into your space, rather than losing your attention “out there” in the crowd. First rule of thumb: When you make a mistake, tell you mind to put it in a box and you’ll deal with it later.
And this is where the practice comes in. Just getting up and singing the song, hoping for the best, very rarely works. Every song has it’s particular challenges and foibles: difficult breathing passages, high notes, a string of difficult vowels etc etc. So take one song that you really connect with and learn it well. I mentioned karaoke earlier, and this is often a good way to go, initially. Choose a song that’s in a key that’s comfortable, i.e. in the middle of your voice (check out the articles: Vocal Ranges). If you’re going to be singing with a real musician or musicians, you can choose a song where you can change the key, but karaoke songs are always in the key sung by the original performer. Apply the guidelines in the online lesson Putting It All Together: Singing A Song, or the chapter from the manual: Putting It All Together: Singing A Song. Sing the song many times, get to know it well. Deal with its challenges. Record yourself if possible, even if it’s just sung into a recording device or even an Iphone (there are a few recording aps. for the Iphone). Test your reality. Forgive the mistakes, or perceived mistakes, and celebrate the good bits. Much of singing is learning to use your instrument. The rest of it is forgetting the technical stuff when you come to sing the song and surrendering to the feeling of it, to the emotion, i.e. the story. When technique meets truth (of emotion), you will give a good, perhaps great, performance. Relaxed and strong, almost like you’re in a bubble.
OK, so there you are in front of an audience. You know the song well, you’ve practiced it and feel ready. The temptation is once more to put your focus “out there”, i.e. all over the room. To avoid this, focus on a point in front of you, and sing the song to that spot. Yes, you can look around, and move, etc etc, but let that be your focal point, the point you can always come back to. Let the audience come to you. Let your star shine for those few minutes. Also, we often think that we have to justify being on stage. And this translates as feeling we need to move around. If the emotion behind the song is true, you don’t have to do a thing. Look at Willie Nelson. He always gives a centered, true performance. Nothing wasted, always wonderful. So get rid of any awkward hand gestures or uncomfortable movements. If you’re not feeling it, don’t do it. Don’t smile inanely if you’re not feeling it. However, “Fake It Till You Make It” also applies. Teach yourself, over time, to focus on the song and not your nervousness. Also, try to feel the rhythm of the song, and let that be the basis of how your body moves. It doesn’t have to be much. Just tapping your foot, or feeling it in your solar plexus will do. Check out the article “How To Feel Rhythm” for help with this.
Once you feel comfortable with the song, follow your intuition. It’s usually right. Take a few risks. If you don’t know if you have intuition, then try to simply tap into the feeling of the song through your solar plexus, especially on the “in” breath, and feel the rhythm in your body. And try to enjoy it. The less you worry about it, and fret about whether you’re doing it right, the more you can relax and give a true performance.
Tags: confidence, feeling rhythm, karaoke, performance technique, public speaking, stage fright