Spirit
Spirit is the real you. Spirit is joy, self love, personal power, presence, all the good stuff. Look at baby. Pure spirit. They just are. Deep down, this is the essence of you.
Ego is fear, judgement, blame, future thinking, all the negative stuff.
Every human on the planet fights the good fight between ego and spirit let’s face it, we’re all in this together…although it can be blimmin exhausting at times:)
The fight is particularly strong when we’re singing a song. At its best, singing ‘s all about freely expressing our emotions, letting go and surrendering. But getting to be a true “gentle warrior’ can be extremely challenging:)
I had a student who was an actor. She said that acting wasn’t a problem for her. It was like putting on a jacket. She was herself, but also being someone else. But singing terrified her, because there’s no safety net.
So true. Singing is often the egos’ worst nightmare, so it puts up all kinds of barriers. Hence, stage fright.
The ego’s tricks
Here are some of the ego tricks I’ve noticed in myself, my students and general life lessons; and following that some suggestions on how to deal with that in performance, plus some tricks of how to access spirit and not lose the plot while singing.
Meditation
To start with, there’s a short meditation in Level 2 that connects you with spirit (link at the bottom of the page), and here’s a meditation you can do that connects first with the ego’s clamor, and then with spirit, to show an easy way to recognize between the two, and to choose spirit:
Meditation
Take a deep breath in and take your attention down to the center of the heart on the out breath. Let go and observe your breath. Try to just be. Observe your thoughts, let them come and go, without judgment or control. Now observe your emotions. Notice the good ones, and notice the clamor. Where it’s situated in the body, if you sense where the root of the emotion is.
Let it all just be
Then take another deep breath and take your attention down to the center of the heart. There’s an alchemical spark glowing in the very center, go to the center of the center of the spark, a place of deep peace and silence, beyond time and space.
Breathe in your own essence, knowing that this is you. Breath in peace, silence, power and contentment, and breath out the clamoring emotions until you feel a balance, then come back to consciousness keeping the attention in the heart.
It’s easy
The ego often tells us that it takes sixty years in a cave to connect to spirit, and yet it can be done so quickly.
Other stuff the ego tells us
That we need it, that it needs to be in charge. No we don’t and it doesn’t. It gives TERRIBLE advice and always leads us into complicated thought patterns and negative thoughts, dragging us out of the here and now, obsessing the past and future, clogging up our energy.
“I’m not here”. This is a good one. It most often hides in plain site, and when some negative thought pattern creates a negative action we get “move along, nothing to see here, we always do this’”. So we create huge worlds within to cope with these illusions, thinking it’s the same world for everyone.
The ego tells us it’s never going to get any better.
That it’s not worth the effort.
That no-one’s to be trusted, least of all you.
That we have to control everything then we’ ll be safe
That there’s something intrinsically wrong with us
That ‘”god”’ gives us life and then kills us off so the Universe can’t really be trusted either or just has a cruel sense of humor.
That when you take everything away, life is ordinary, and mundane, and about dealing with mundane things. Where’s the fun in that? So the ego creates huge stories and dramas so we don’t have to deal with the silence within. It’s war. The ego doesn’t want us to connect with our spirit, it would lose the war then. It lives in the head and strives to keep us there by believing that thoughts are our totality:)
It also tells us that our Universe expands with thoughts, but we have thousands a day, all inspired by feelings. The ego tells us not to trust our feelings, and to keep living in the head, whereas it’s our feelings, guided by our intuition, that really point the way, as in “being in control” is an illusion.
We need the ego
But, although it can be an evil genius, we should also forgive it. It’s just trying to keep us safe so it’s safe. And we’re all hurt kids in some shape or form, are we not, so it’s just doing its best to help us deal and heal (I mentioned I felt the ego is an evil genius to a dear, wise and wonderful friend recently who said “No, it’s like a puppy. You just have to retrain it. It wants the best for you it just doesn’t know how “. With hindsight, I think this is a truer version of the ego’s tricks:).
And we need the ego. In its purest form it’s the “flight or fight” instinct, situated in the amygdala at the back of the brain. If we see a tiger, hide. In its purest form, the ego is our personal secretary, making sure we get to the meeting in time, call that person, remember the important things. Our personal computer, if you will:)
When singing , this translates as the ego working with your spirit, one step ahead. “Breath coming up, small sip coming up, keep the emotions even keel here; big chorus now building up to the big emotion, remember to relax, open the diaphragm and belly for a huge breath, remember not to over-breathe, connect to the emotion, COMMIT and LET GO!
If we keep at it, “No ego, it’s not that, it’s THIS”, slowly it will get the message:)
Spirit
Spirit, or source energy, is our true self, our higher self, and the ego is our little self, the “story of me’”.
Spirit is often held hostage by the ego, often without us realizing it.
Aldo, spirit has a few base homes, most notably in the head “the third eye” and the heart. If we stay in the head, the battle continues, and the ego is harder to deal with. Which is why taking the attention down to the heart can be a powerful release. Especially since the heart is the center of our true power:)
Stage fright is spirit being held hostage, fear literally freezing us up, without us knowing what to do about it.
What spirit knows
Spirit knows that we’re all the same, and that all it has to do is let go and have fun. Spirit knows it’s safe and is like a joyful child, just letting its energy flow and letting life, and the song, happen.
Spirit doesn’t care about others judgments, and sees the good in everyone.
Spirit also knows to not take anything personally, and to not hold on so tight.
Spirit knows its job is to raise the energy of the room, to enjoy that experience, and then to move on to the next thing. TV perhaps, or a good meal ? Or both?:)
Spirit doesn’t take it all so seriously.
Spirit lives in the here and now, where there is no past or future. Child like, joyful.
How this relates to singing
Spirit lets its energy flow. Spirit know it’s singing first of all for itself, because it feels good, and the diaphragm needs some healthy exercise now and then, the stress of everyday life and the egos fears often pulling it this way and that.
Spirit shares spirit with an audience, who share it back. The singer Nancy Wilson describing the energy of a good gig: “You’re going to the audience “you you you’” and they’re going back “you you you” and it sets up a wonderful loop of affirming energy.
From the egos perspective, it always drops the ball “you you you” to being “me me me!” A lot of singing is learning to get out if our own way, and forgiving ourselves when we don’t.
When we train ourselves to come from the place of peace and the silence within, it’ll be reflected in our performance. We relax, the audience relaxes and trusts us, we trust ourselves, and everyone has a good time. Plus you make better decisions because you’re not second-guessing and, everything flowing much more naturally.
The best way to explain the process of change that’s also relevant to changing habits when singing is to paraphrase Wayne Dyer: “you’re walking down a path, you fall in the hole. Next day, same thing, but you get out quicker. Soon you see the hole, you fall in, can’t help yourself, but get out pretty quickly. Then you see the hole and walk round it. Then you walk down a different street”.
The path of learning to sing
This is also the path of learning to sing, on all levels. We’re slowly learning to let go and trust, the ego eventually trusting spirit to light the way, not the ego taking over and ruining everything.
And to know that’s a process and to forgive our mistakes and celebrate our victories, most importantly:)
Meditation link: link to level 2 meditation
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Dealing with stage fright
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