Almost everyone has stage fright. It can range from an overwhelming fear to a mild apprehension before a performance.
I’ve suffered from it greatly throughout my career as a performer. At first onstage, then when I got to a level of proficiency, that went away, leaving an apprehension before a gig if I hadn’t performed for a while. It would come on about a week before and be this low level fear following me around.
I think this is true for almost everyone. It can be anything from a deer in the headlights fear to a low level sense of dread.
So what I’m about to share comes from a great many deep dives to get to the bottom of it. I’m not saying I’m cured completely, but it’s now manageable and performing is way more enjoyable:)
In a nutshell, stage fright is very rarely an easy fix, and can be very deep rooted. And we often try to avoid getting into situations where it’ll be tested, so it remains this boogieman at the edge of our consciousness. If you have huge stage fright and you really want to sing, or are using learning to sing to deal with stage fright (for example, you have some public speaking you can’t avoid), I hope the following suggestions will help:)
Face challenges gently
The first rule of thumb is to face challenges gently, so your learning curve is a gradual and comfortable one. Since no two singers are the same, the opportunities to sing in public can be many and varied. Karaoke is a good way to start if you don’t know any musicians or aren’t involved in a musical community. There are many good home karaoke systems out there, and it’s a great way to get started (more of that later). Joining a choir is also another great way to deal with stage fright. You can sing as loud as you want and the spotlight isn’t on you, while you’re also learning the basics, for example how to read music, control your breathing and the note, and hear harmonies. It’s also a great way to meet other singers and share your stories.
There’s a basic misconception re. public performance: that everyone else is more confident than us, judging and/or laughing at our performance.
My experience with students is that everyone, like me, on some level or other, suffers from stage fright. And it often goes back to childhood, and can simple or convoluted.
As simple as kids laughing in the classroom, to the fact that, as with one student, it was always a big thing how “the whole family” was happy to sing, so whenever they sang together, they weren’t being one of the clan if they didn’t join in. Let alone sang well:)
Or just that having fun and being expressive was frowned upon (“children should be seen and not heard”).
The Basic Truth
The basic truth is that an audience wants to be entertained. They want to like you, and will be forgiving of the odd mistake. They want to be moved, to be transported and hear the story of the song.
Conversely, the more afraid we are, the more embarrassed they will be for us. And knowing that can mean we obsess getting it wrong. And so, of course, mess up.
So, what to do?
First of all, your stage fright matters more to you than it does to them. They’re worrying more about themselves, and this is a passing moment. They won’t be going home picking apart your performance, for example. They’ll only really care if you move them, and are usually sympathetic if you’re obviously nervous (and if they’re a tough, judgmental crowd, what are you doing there and why should you care what they think?).
To move an audience, you have to be in the now, focused on your performance, not in their opinion of you. Which means, once again, training your mind over time not to focus on the bad things about your performance, but to stay in the moment, and not to judge yourself.
The first way forward
Bring an audience into your space, rather than losing your attention “out there” in the crowd.
First rule of thumb: When you make a mistake, tell you mind to put it in a box and you’ll deal with it later.
And this is where the practice comes in. Just getting up and singing the song, hoping for the best, very rarely works. Every song has it’s particular challenges and foibles: difficult breathing passages, high notes, a string of difficult vowels etc etc.
So take one song that you really connect with and learn it well. I mentioned karaoke earlier, and this is often, initially, a good way to go.
Choose a song that’s in a key that’s comfortable (for example, in the middle of your voice).
If you’re going to be singing with a real musician or musicians, you can choose a song where you can change the key, but karaoke songs are usually in the key sung by the original performer, or the key they were written in.
A lot of karaoke machines will change the key for you, but be aware usually only by a few notes up or down. After that, the track starts to sound really tinny.
So choose a song sung by a woman if you’re female and a man if your male. Men’s natural pitch is normally different to women’s.
Putting It All Together: Singing A Song
First of all, sing the song many times, get to know it well. Deal with its challenges. Record yourself if possible, even if it’s just sung into a an Iphone (I personally like “Voice Record”, which is a high quality app).
Forgive the mistakes, real or perceived , and celebrate the good bits. Much of singing is learning to use your instrument. The rest of it is forgetting the technical stuff when you come to sing the song. Surrendering to the feeling of it, to the emotion, the story of the song.
When technique meets truth (of emotion), you will give a good, perhaps great, performance. Relaxed and strong, like you’re in a bubble.
Lastly, and I can’t stress the importance of this, PUT YOUR ATTENTION IN YOUR HEART.
When you take a breath in, consciously take your attention down to your heart as you breathe in. The ego, which causes all of the problems, is centered in the head. Ir makes us overthink and then not trust ourselves. It has no power in the heart center (which is, in fact, also the center of ourselves. We’re propelled in life by our feelings, the best decisions in life being instinctive. Singing is no different).
As you breath in, give the emotion of the song to the diaphragm, taking your attention down to the heart (it only takes a split second) and allow yourself to let go. This takes practice but when you get it right it really works. Have faith that it will work and it will. You’ll feel and hear it and so will an audience. Now you have a goal, a feeling to connect to and remember and thus, learn to recreate.
Preparing for a performance
Let’s imagine a scenario. You’re in front of an audience. You know the song well, you’ve practiced it and feel ready.
Before you even step out onto the stage try these few exercises:
- If possible, listen to the Level 2 meditation at least an hour before your performance.
- 1.5 minutes before performing try and find a quiet place (if that’s not possible then make sure you find a personal space to do this in the half our leading up to it.
- Give yourself a grounding cord. From your tailbone, imagine a light filled cord going down to the center of the earth. It can be made of anything (a tree root or a beam of light for example. See the article “Give Yourself A Grounding Cord”). Visualize it hooking on firmly at the center of the earth. Breathe energy up from the center of the earth, rooting and literally grounding you.
- Put your attention in your heart and breathe in. Let the diaphragm relax and expand, opening you up to the belly. Let all of it expand as demonstrated in the breathing exercises of Level 1.
- 1.Imagine you’re in a bubble. Close your eyes, feel the outer edges of the bubble. If it’s all over the place, bring the bubble back to about 3′ around the body. Say to yourself “I am safe. I am home. I am a great soul”. If you lose your center, practice taking a quick breath in and taking your attention down to the center of your heart again. Set up the path you’ll be taking with every breath.
- 1.Then do the Phil Stutz exercise (I heard this on a podcast once and have used it ever since):
Breathe in from the left side, connecting with everything you perceive as dark or negative about yourself.
Then breathe in from the right, connecting with everything you perceive as good about yourself.
Do this 3 times, then breathe in again and put your attention in the heart. From the heart and the center of the head combined, bring both the left and right sides of yourself, the perceived negative and positive, into the center of your heart. Breathe them in. Accept them. This is the authentic you. Let this be the space you perform from.
Onstage
Now you’re ready to step onstage. Keep your attention in your heart, stay in your bubble and keep grounded until you get there. Know the subconscious will keep this energy going throughout your performance.
Once onstage, the temptation is to put your focus “out there”, all over the room, and lose focus. Stay in your bubble, in the center of your heart.
To keep centered, focus on a point in front of you, and sing the song to that spot. Yes, you can look around, and move etc, but let that be your focal point, the point you can always come back to. Let the audience come to you. Let your star shine for those few minutes.
Know that, as the authentic you, you don’t have to be larger than life. Just tell the truth, an
Also, we often think that we have to justify being on stage. And this translates as feeling we need to move aroundd let that place if silence within you observe how you’re being, without judgement. Once again, this takes practice. Celebrate when you get it right, forgive yourself if you fall short.
Because, ultimately, if the emotion behind the song is true, you don’t have to do a thing. Great performers give a centered, authentic performance. Nothing wasted.
So get rid of any awkward hand gestures or uncomfortable movements. And if you find yourself doing that, forgive yourself immediately. On to the next moment. So, basically, If you’re not feeling it, don’t do it.
However, “Fake It Till You Make It” also applies. Teach yourself, over time, to focus on the song and the story of the song.
Feeling rhythm
Try to feel the rhythm of the song, and let that be the basis of how your body moves. It doesn’t have to be much. Just tapping your foot, or feeling it in your solar plexus will do. Also, remember that everyone feels rhythm in their own way. Follow your instinct, how you feel, trust it, that will help you connect with the feeling of the song.
Once you feel comfortable with the song, follow your intuition. It’s always right. Take a few risks. If you don’t know if you have intuition, then try to simply tap into the feeling of the song through your solar plexus, especially on the “in” breath aka the breath exercises, and feel the rhythm in your body.
Enjoy it
Try to enjoy it. The less you worry about it, and fret about whether you’re doing it right, the more you can relax and give a true performance.
And when you get it right (and you’ll know because you’ll feel it, and the audience is reflecting it back to you) it’s magical and wonderful, and worth all of the work you’ve put into getting to this point:)
The singer Nancy Wilson put it best, I think. You’ve created a loop whereby you’re going “you you you” to an audience and they’re going “you you you ” right back. The energy is raised and you have been the conduit for that. At this point if there’s any hint of fear:
Grounding cord (you can give yourself a new one anytime)
Bubble
Heart
Breathe
Let go
Have fun!!!
Related articles:
Vocal ranges
How to feel rhythm